I recently attended the Affecting Others Profoundly Virtual Workshop based on “The Portable Coach” by Thomas Leonard and hosted by Lynn Zettler, where I learned the top ten ways on how I can affect the lives of the people I work with on a daily basis. For both myself and others, I have summarized the presentation into an easily digestible list, as a means to provide a reference on how to profoundly affect the lives of others.
#1: Special Gifts, Traits, and Talents of Others
Though it may seem small and insignificant, a simple compliment can go a long way. By recognizing the gifts of others, a person is able to positively impact a person’s day with minimal effort. Did your colleague just give a great presentation? Send them an email and let them know you enjoyed it!
#2: Underlying Emotion
The next time you find yourself speaking to an angry employee/colleague/customer, try to respond to what they are feeling and connect with them on their emotions, rather than try to connect with the words they are saying. Understanding the underlying emotions of a person allows for empathy and understanding.
#3: Deliver Nuggets
When trying to deliver a message or statement that you want someone to remember, take some time to choose your words carefully in a way that people can easily recall and retransmit. Just like the popular memes we find on the internet, try to package your thoughts into digestible nuggets that people can remember and pass on to their friends.
#4: Be Humble and OK
We all have our own insecurities and self-doubts about ourselves. We also have our own strengths and talents. When we accept these things about ourselves and become OK with who we are, we automatically radiate a confidence that people inherently find attractive. By being secure with who we are, other people will feel secure about themselves when they are around you.
#5: Open Their World
Contrary to popular belief, it is ok to challenge the thoughts of our colleagues, even our customers. By questioning other’s assumptions or challenging their strongly held beliefs, we can open their minds to new ways of thinking. As long as we are respectful of people’s boundaries, you’ll make a deep, profound impression.
#6: Show Them How to Benefit From the Now
Show others how to better experience what they already have, whether it’s a problem, or an attribute. Most people are so future oriented that they miss out on the opportunities right in front of them. Be the eyes and ears for others and help them see the value of what’s happening now. If you can teach that to others, you’ll develop a great understanding of it for yourself.
#7: Who They Are Not What They Have Done
It is important to remind people of who they actually are, rather than what they have done. At times, a compliment can go a long way (see item #1), however it is essential to let people know that they are more than just their accomplishments and failures. A person is composed of his or her own unique personality traits, and by recognizing and accepting them on whom they are can help build a strong relationship.
#8: Give Meaning
Provide people with something meaningful to work on. If you find yourself working on something that truly excites you, invite someone to join you so that they can share in your excitement. By opening up yourself up to others for help, you can profoundly affect how people feel about you, and make yourself extremely attractive. People will naturally feed off your enthusiasm and feel important that you picked them to help out.
#9: Give Tools
Do you have any skills or tools that could benefit others? Share them! Give people the tools they need to improve and evolve themselves. They will remember this generosity, and in the future it could benefit you, future projects, and relationships.
#10: Don’t Try to Affect Others Profoundly
Trying too hard to affect others profoundly will come off as insincere, and in the end you won’t ultimately achieve the results you want. How can we accomplish this? By acting without the assumption that we will get anything in return. Affect someone profoundly, and move on. The rewards will come.